Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Randomize
