garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Operation Purity has been aborted
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
