This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
His nipple licking is glorious
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