Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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