you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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