Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Randomize
