My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Randomize
