Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
