im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
tell me about the eggs
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