I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
