Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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