Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize