i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
