I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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