I bet he comes in French.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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