Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
