My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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