Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
