Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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