guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
