Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
