I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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