Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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