O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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