If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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