my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
