what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
