No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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