YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
it was like eating out sand paper
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I am available for nakedness
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
