so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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