Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
