So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
