When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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