Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
