there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
im holly from the hills drunk
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
