i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
