spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
