That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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