im drinking this country out of the recession.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
