Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
