well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
