Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
