HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
