In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
