her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
