I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
