she woke up with a sticky ear
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
