hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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