there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
