she woke up with a sticky ear
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
