hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
