So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
