Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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