In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
