and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
