I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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